G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra – Review

After having watched an epic G.I. Joe movie, I expected a spectacular gaming title to follow. Published by Hasbro and EA, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra was supposed to be the title of the year… But Hasbro fucked us from the rear!

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is the title of a video game adaptation(a weak adaptation) of the film of the same name. The game takes place after the film. The 360 and PS3 versions are based on the same code, while the DS is an entirely different game unto itself, and the Wii, PS2, and PSP version are also based on relatively similar code.

I own a PS3 console for Pete’s sake, I do not want to play a 3D Contra on it. The time for Contra came and passed. I do not know what exactly they (publisher) were trying to prove, but this game was a flop of epic proportions.  I do believe the supervision was off duty when they made this game because I fail to see how anyone with an ounce of intellect would allow this piece of crap to be considered a PS3 game!

Even its ratings were poor. The game received negative scores from a lot of websites. It achieved a Metacritic average of 42% on the Xbox 360, and 43% on the PS3. Below haf?! For a PS3 / XBox 360?! No, I don't think so. The graphics were piss poor, the gameplay is the shitiest I've ever seen. It would have been better suited for a PS2 console and even there it would still be crap! That's how bad it is!

I would have more fun playing the PSOne Syphon Filter than this half-baked excuse for a PS3/Xbox 360 title. Never have I been this pissed about a game since Sonic Heroes. And you can't delete it's stupid Trophies, It shall forever haunt me! Argh!

I would like to personally have a chat with whoever was in charge when they made this one. I need to give them a piece of my mind!

I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS ONE!

I do however hope that  if they do make another G.I. Joe game for Retaliation, it will be something worthy of the name and not the nonsense they gave me with this one…

Your VB Kid 

Psypher